Rudy Giuliani’s Deal With the Devil

Rudy Giuliani, Esquire, the leader of President Trump’s “elite strike force,” is desperately trying to overturn President-Elect Joe Biden’s victory. The only thing elite about his representation thus far has been his inability to win a single ruling. Having been laughed, berated, and thrown out of court from Pennsylvania to Michigan back to Georgia, judges have not viewed his representation as either professional or competent. But Giuliani’s playing of Faust to President Trump’s Mephistopheles is not the attorney’s first dance with the dark side.

After toiling in relative legal obscurity starting with private practice in 1977 and as an Assistant US Attorney in 1981, Giuliani met Archangel number one sometime in 1983. At which point, the Devil promised to provide the noble cover of public political service, which Giuliani could use for personal and financial gain. He was appointed US Attorney for the Southern District of New York, the country’s preeminent prosecutorial office, in 1983. Under Giuliani, assistant US attorneys brought successful cases against some of New York’s most prominent Mafia families. Ignoring the unwritten rule that lead prosecutors let their convictions speak for them, Giuliani used the position as a pulpit for self-promotion. Leading one of his assistants at the time, now-former FBI Director James Comey, to comment, “the most dangerous place in New York is between Rudy and a microphone.

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The Dark Lord continued to keep his end of the bargain, and Giuliani parlayed his newfound notoriety into being elected Mayor of New York in 1994. The city made financial strides and decreased crime under his stewardship. But by September 10, 2001, Giuliani had become a running joke in many New York circles. His farcical personal life overshadowing his professional career. In 2000 Giuliani informed his wife he was seeking a divorce. He notified her through his only known means of communication, a press conference. (As an aside, despite the hundreds of pressers he has held, Giuliani has yet to improve.) The divorce turned ugly, and soon after, the press revealed Giuliani’s mistress was receiving a city-funded $100,000 a year security detail. This revelation led to Mrs. Giuliani obtaining a restraining order against the mistress from visiting Gracie Mansion, the city-funded Mayoral Mansion.

Beelzebub having more than held up his end of the bargain, was none too happy when Giuliani, having squandered the spoils of their original deal, summoned him again.  Among the myriad of issues of deals with the Devil is he can only advance his partners’ interests through the death and destruction of others. A busy man Satan made it easy for Giuliani. The Devil would do the work, and the only thing required of Giuliani was his presence. On September 11, 2001, Satan sent his messengers to attack New York and paralyze the entire country.  In the aftermath, Mayor Giuliani, who did nothing of real substance but maintained a constant presence in the media, was dubbed “America’s Mayor“.

2020 is not Giuliani’s first attempt at subverting American Democracy. Despite being prohibited from re-election by term limits back in 2001, Giuliani, in the case of those who forget the past, are condemned to repeat it sought an extension of his expired term. His means for doing so was by asking the Governor and legislature to cancel the upcoming Mayoral election. Giuliani “insisted New Yorkers were begging him to stay in office.” Despite his perch of political prowess, Democracy did not bend to Giuliani’s wishes. A man of wealth and taste, even the Devil, has his limits.

Twenty years later, and Giuliani is now advocating on behalf of the President that Governors and state legislatures change the election results. Adopt the cancel culture the President until recently so vehemently abhorred.  While the press conference settings have gone from the lobby of the pristine, New York, five-star Four Seasons to the dusty tarmac of Four Seasons Landscaping, the spectacle is still the same.

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Giuliani’s complete and utter desperation was on full display in one of his most recent public appearances. Looking crazed and sweating profusely, he was the point person for the elite strike force’s most outlandish and wholly unsubstantiated electoral misconduct claims yet. Allegations so beyond the pale, not one of the President’s millions of sycophants has gone on record supporting Giuliani’s positions. In his defense, Giuliani’s son, with whom Giuliani was in contact, subsequently tested Covid-19 positive. Perhaps the inordinate perspiring was due to a fever. However, despite the now known litany of virus’ symptoms, brown goo running down the side of your face is not one.

Even though Giuliani’s attempted subversion of democracy is déjà vu all over again, the running theory is Giuliani is willing to humiliate himself in exchange for a Presidential pardon. Given his willingness to embarrass himself publicly throughout his career, how could we know? More likely, at 76 years old, he does not want to pay for his past crimes by spending his last days in a jail cell. While a Presidential pardon may or may not prevent that outcome, the larger problem he has is the deal he made for his soul.

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